Tuesday, September 02, 2008
my life has reach a crash course. a real bad crash, because i didn't steer to the route i wanted and let it auto pilot.
I had the hardest driving moment in my life on wednesday morning after sending Jason, Mary and 2nd Sis Qi home after Karaoke. I had to keep myself awake and all, after sending 2nd Sis Qi home, i literally drove being half awake. I nearly hit onto the barrier after exiting Pie to Eunos, damn i'm too tired.
Reach home around 3.30am, went bed and had one super long sleep and dream. I dreamt of what's happening around me, both of them happily. And i woke up after that at around 2pm, telling myself. 'Dreams are suppose to be the reverse of what's in reality', but, reality shows its cruelity. [=
Went back to sleep a while later and i dreamt that i've got a younger sister, she looks like Hazel! Well, she almost had the same character as her, or i could say its really her. And i wonder, if i really got a younger sister, will she be like her? Bubbly type while i'm more to the everything just keep it to me and bear all guilt. Man, i wish i really got a sister or sibling. Probably i could get all this over with even faster.. The dream is so warming, it goes something like.. Reach home after school, change into something comfy and enter her room and talk to her.
Me: mei, what you doing?
Dream Sis: just listening to song, wassup?
Me: need some help, glad i still have you by my side.
Dream sis: what's wrong, tell me if you feel like to...
Me: *blah blah blah blah*
Dream sis: don't worry, i'll still be your lovely sister, and you'll be my dearly brother no matter what happen.
*hug*
wow, isn't that warming? well, at least for me. Speaking of which, i supposed to have a younger brother, but... i'm a murderer.. If he's around he should be few years younger than me, probably 17-19 this year. IF HE'S AROUND, i won't be this lonely, pathetic or sad. Sometimes i think i just need someone to be by my side. Someone very close, since i got communication problem with my mom, and she's the only kin i have left. I'm such a failure, in all aspect. In friendship, as son, and even in relationship. I'M A MURDERER.
Thanks to those who stand by me this few days, especially mabel, tim, mel, wen, jo, kawei, kahlun, jeffrey, Da Jie, Er Jie, mother & my late dad.
Thanks daddy for listening to your son's grumble and grief. Sorry for i still have to let you worry even after you left us. Daddy, i love you and i still treat you like a father no matter what happened before, sorry i didn't have a courage to tell you how much i love you and grateful to have you in my life. Perhaps i'm not good in expressing out myself. I'll always remember your teachings, for whoever i am now today is all thanks to your guidance, i appreciate it. Love you Dad!
Life's hard but you only live once, live without regret.
I had the hardest driving moment in my life on wednesday morning after sending Jason, Mary and 2nd Sis Qi home after Karaoke. I had to keep myself awake and all, after sending 2nd Sis Qi home, i literally drove being half awake. I nearly hit onto the barrier after exiting Pie to Eunos, damn i'm too tired.
Reach home around 3.30am, went bed and had one super long sleep and dream. I dreamt of what's happening around me, both of them happily. And i woke up after that at around 2pm, telling myself. 'Dreams are suppose to be the reverse of what's in reality', but, reality shows its cruelity. [=
Went back to sleep a while later and i dreamt that i've got a younger sister, she looks like Hazel! Well, she almost had the same character as her, or i could say its really her. And i wonder, if i really got a younger sister, will she be like her? Bubbly type while i'm more to the everything just keep it to me and bear all guilt. Man, i wish i really got a sister or sibling. Probably i could get all this over with even faster.. The dream is so warming, it goes something like.. Reach home after school, change into something comfy and enter her room and talk to her.
Me: mei, what you doing?
Dream Sis: just listening to song, wassup?
Me: need some help, glad i still have you by my side.
Dream sis: what's wrong, tell me if you feel like to...
Me: *blah blah blah blah*
Dream sis: don't worry, i'll still be your lovely sister, and you'll be my dearly brother no matter what happen.
*hug*
wow, isn't that warming? well, at least for me. Speaking of which, i supposed to have a younger brother, but... i'm a murderer.. If he's around he should be few years younger than me, probably 17-19 this year. IF HE'S AROUND, i won't be this lonely, pathetic or sad. Sometimes i think i just need someone to be by my side. Someone very close, since i got communication problem with my mom, and she's the only kin i have left. I'm such a failure, in all aspect. In friendship, as son, and even in relationship. I'M A MURDERER.
Thanks to those who stand by me this few days, especially mabel, tim, mel, wen, jo, kawei, kahlun, jeffrey, Da Jie, Er Jie, mother & my late dad.
Thanks daddy for listening to your son's grumble and grief. Sorry for i still have to let you worry even after you left us. Daddy, i love you and i still treat you like a father no matter what happened before, sorry i didn't have a courage to tell you how much i love you and grateful to have you in my life. Perhaps i'm not good in expressing out myself. I'll always remember your teachings, for whoever i am now today is all thanks to your guidance, i appreciate it. Love you Dad!
Life's hard but you only live once, live without regret.
what we could have been, Tuesday, September 02, 2008.
