Wednesday, August 02, 2006
PAIN PAIN PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGG......... starts to ponder how do wear pants and shoe back school tomorrow, oh my gawd! But, no matter what i have to go back to sit for test. DAMN!.. haiz.. i feel so handicapped, first time in my life. So demoralising, but thinking back of the dream yesterday, will kinda boost myself up! Just for a short while, better than none (=.
Just now i nearly slipped and fall right on my knee, luckily & miraclously somehow i managed to recover back in time, if its you dad, thanks (= My only idol image i can burn in my head is my dad, despite the injury & sickness he got, he still wakes up so damn early in the morning, work his life out of it till night. Sometimes can't even stay sobler, i wish i got half of his will power.
For that, i'll give in all during physio to recover asap. Suddenly, i just wanted to go back school. Is it the passion for study coming back? Or was the promise i made back then is urging mi back, hmm. Lyka fantasy world! I think, i'll post my "pig trotter" picture.
The reason why didn't really said that i'm going for this surgery is mainly because i don't really want any extra cares & concern coming, i just want it to be this way. If you don't care a fuck about me, then let it be. I'm still fine on my own, unless i asked for help, don't ever help me. Those who are reading this, please try to understand what i'm trying to do. I need to have a space on my own to handle my own stuff, if not it will really burden me in future.
Besides, i'm a 'guy' or rather a boy to some of you all, but deep down inside, 'I am me', nothing can change me, if you think i'm stubborn or act like one. Please have that image of mi in you, that's because, the only way for you to remember me. If anyone of you have this fucking poor image of someone in your head, just let it be. Don't ever change it, that is how they are, maybe just some day, you came across something identical scene. You'll definately recall that particular someone did that before. Trust me, not thru tv nor drama have i came across this, its just something good you learn just by living.
Frankly speaking, i wanna thanks the 'ah sum' for that few hours yesterday. Ah sum brought
me smiles, and the pain was fairly enough, left me for that awhile. Staring out the window now really bring mi some painful moment, not being able to walk normally these few weeks or rather month, haiz..
Just now i nearly slipped and fall right on my knee, luckily & miraclously somehow i managed to recover back in time, if its you dad, thanks (= My only idol image i can burn in my head is my dad, despite the injury & sickness he got, he still wakes up so damn early in the morning, work his life out of it till night. Sometimes can't even stay sobler, i wish i got half of his will power.
For that, i'll give in all during physio to recover asap. Suddenly, i just wanted to go back school. Is it the passion for study coming back? Or was the promise i made back then is urging mi back, hmm. Lyka fantasy world! I think, i'll post my "pig trotter" picture.
The reason why didn't really said that i'm going for this surgery is mainly because i don't really want any extra cares & concern coming, i just want it to be this way. If you don't care a fuck about me, then let it be. I'm still fine on my own, unless i asked for help, don't ever help me. Those who are reading this, please try to understand what i'm trying to do. I need to have a space on my own to handle my own stuff, if not it will really burden me in future.Besides, i'm a 'guy' or rather a boy to some of you all, but deep down inside, 'I am me', nothing can change me, if you think i'm stubborn or act like one. Please have that image of mi in you, that's because, the only way for you to remember me. If anyone of you have this fucking poor image of someone in your head, just let it be. Don't ever change it, that is how they are, maybe just some day, you came across something identical scene. You'll definately recall that particular someone did that before. Trust me, not thru tv nor drama have i came across this, its just something good you learn just by living.
Frankly speaking, i wanna thanks the 'ah sum' for that few hours yesterday. Ah sum brought
me smiles, and the pain was fairly enough, left me for that awhile. Staring out the window now really bring mi some painful moment, not being able to walk normally these few weeks or rather month, haiz..
what we could have been, Wednesday, August 02, 2006.
